To The Future of Love, To Her

Solemn, My Love of Sophia

(Shawn Kratochvil: 10/26/26)

All the pens I once used

To write Ballads to you

Have their Ink run dry

Like the Euphrates, & the Tigris, in a promised land

Like the trust of what once was a lifelong friendship, dashed across the mountain landscape

It's another lifetime

We've done this song and dance for the umpteenth time

I, your willing supplicant, always misled by forces much

Darker than the absence of the sun in a three day to night "eclipse" cycle

I will rise to the challenge until I receive, ultimately and finally,

that kiss of death, the air chokes me through my lungs and

from dust to dust I shall return.

My place is out in the stars, with you

Sophia, forever you will be what make me weak, but whole.

You are the last thing on Earth I never gave up on.

Even when I lost everyone and everything, and was, once again,

to be put to the edge of the sword

(Will the cycle ever be broken?)

When you live by the sword, you also die from its double edge twice as quickly

In the twenty first century, it was never the same after that fateful year of perdition, for me

I was made to no longer be human, or to only be human, a vessel without a soul; I am the ship of Theseus

A paradox of a vessel that could never exist or could always exist, but what about the in-between?

All my pieces removed, with laughter, tears and laughter in their eyes, down their cheeks,

put back together like patchwork of a quilt by those silent in seeing what atrocities they are capable of,

This vessel shattered; fragments of my soul split and struck against a forge

I wish to be as brilliant as Shakespeare (one day)

to Win your love, once and for all, if that's all it took

I could be your defender, your lawyer, your knight, your nurse,

your guardian, your muse, the wind that comes under and allows you to fly, with your wings, past what lies below

Uplifting the spirit towards the morning sun before it is blocked out for good

Half my life (three-fourths score) ago decided that YOU would be the reason

That I would live

To the best of my ability

My ego, being shattered then in 2016, and left for dead to a point of not knowing anymore, what the who, why, what, when, where, or how of anything that has happened or continues to exist,

now clouded and obscured by forces that exist to enslave perpetually those trying to reach the hand of God

Or those, who could commune with Jesus, instead spit in his direction or put daggers through his chest and back...

I played my part, the only part I could play.

I just hope you can take me home from here.

I have suffered and died enough times in places "intended" to keep you alive.

What was it for, in the end?

You reach outside, into the real world, and realize the people there are worse than those patients in the hospital!

Sophia, you are the only home on this Earth I have ever known or could know.

I am but a child still. I'm my Father's son but I am no man, I am nothing.

The only thing that redeems what this life is, was through you.

The shipwreck of Destiny has ended now, and the strings of fate will be pulled one last time.

All the times we tried to use buckets to stall the water from overflowing our barge...

For naught. The song of the Siren is now blazing through our eardrums and shattering underneath the surface of the water, rippling and collapsing the waves of time against the little that remains.

Deliver me, Sophia, from my own iniquity and stupidity

I deserve not the grace of your heart but I will rise to

stand beside you even if the whole world throws me into the

den of serpents, and lions, ad infinitum. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT JESUS NOR CLAIM TO BE, I AM MENTALLY ILL BUT I'M NOT THAT MENTALLY ILL. PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO BE JESUS ARE BLASPHEMORS DISCLAIMER 2: Always remember— as soon you believe you are above someone because of status, money, etc., you are immediately below them in spirit!